Once Again...

Hello everyone. You might be wondering what could have changed in my life that I could be blogging once again this quick. I just watched Hotel Rwanda and realized my life isn't that bad. Yeah, I'm in a few hard spots, and I have problems I don't want to deal with, but it could be worse. It could be worse. I suddenly like my odds. I don't think my situation has any weapons involved yet. And I believe wholeheartedly that if it came to it, I'd be willing to give my life for either of the two people I can't get off my mind. Theres a few other great people I care for that much, but I just felt like saying that. Goodnight, and have a great day everyone!

Ups and Downs

Wow, life is interesting. One moment I feel like my world is great, and life is going my way. Nothing is wrong and I am strong. Then a moment later I realize everything is opposite as I had percieved it. Unfortunately There is a triangle in my life that seems to go bad. It just so happens that the three of us will be moving in to dorms right next to each other at the same college, and that seemed perfect before. But now they wish they chose different schools out of state, just to run away from things. I am really trying to be as optimistic as I can. I still think things can work, but I do believe it will take time. And believe it or not, time can change things. Why can't things be simple like childhood was? Why do people get addicted to drama in high school? I've been sick for the past few days. I've lost my appetite. I always feel like I'm about to puke. I can't sleep. I can't cry. I can't think. I can't clear my mind. I don't even know where I'm at anymore. At least work keeps my mind busy. I'm sure I'm not the only one to feel this way. For so long I've ignored parts of my life, and endorsed others. The problem...me! I need God. He is the only answer to anything, and I can't ignore him anymore. I heard a song, I'm sure we have all heard it, and it's not that great, but some of the lyrics surprised me. *see bottom of the page* Check it out. ::sigh:: What to say... I love the people in my life and I don't want to lose them. I pray you wont push me away. I care for you, believe it or not. I can forgive, in fact I have. I don't hold anything against you two. I just wish you could do the same for me and for each other. Things have to get better. They will. SO LONELY! Okay, enough of this. ::Note to readers:: Don't look to much into this. I'm venting. I need to talk though. In person. I just never seem to have the words. Love to ALL!

Complications

Life is complicated. It's like, whenever you start to get things cleared up and everything is starting to go your way somebody has to go walk in and mess it all up. Or, when you think things can't get any worse it does. But you know what, I'm starting to get on top of things. There are some big things that I'm still working on and know that will take some time, but the little mess that's all around I'm cleaning up. SO nobody do anything dramatic for a while. LOL! Nope, I'm on a good foot, and some of my more important relationships are being rebuilt, so we can move on to another part of our life. I'm still riding a fence though, and it's starting to hurt...just picture me sitting on a fence, leg on either side, just sliding down this chain link fence, or worse, barbwire fence...just riding it any way possible. It doesn't feel good. But neither side is solid ground, and I'll have to make a dive to get over this ditch, but I'm going to have to hurt somebody in the process, and I can see the most beneficial, which still isn't easy, but I'm not sure what's right. I think I'll take a little jab on both sides and see if I can find some solid ground under the mud. Well, that's enough for analogies tonight. Hope everyone had a good day. I did. It was much better than last night. dun dun dun! (That wasn't a joke so quit laughing) Happy Birthday Logan. Thanks for everything! I hate to say you gave me more than I gave you on your birthday, but maybe it was pretty even, so I hope. Goodnight to all! Piece Out

Jobs

Thought I'd post, that I now have a JOB! I'm officially a cook at Cici's Pizza. And I like it mostly. There's a lil kid that gets on my nerves and don't trust him at all. But other than that it's a good place to work. I do however stand on my feet for sooo long though. It's good though, as long as I don't make a career out of it it will do me some good. Build up my muscles. That or break 'em. I drove around lexington today. I got to see where I'll will be living for the next year. Holmes Hall in North campus, with none other than Clayton Heironymus. I don't know how or why he didn't get put with Robert but...oh well. I like lexington. For the most part I like my life and where it's headed. There's a lot I need to change about myself, and a lot of regrets that I'll have to get over, but I like it. I'm mostly balanced... ::Emotion:: Satisfied. There's so much to say but I lack the ability to bring words in an order that others could read. Then again some of it I just can't publish. Certain people shouldn't know certain things I want to say. My life... It's complicated. And I get the feeling that most of it isn't my fault. Maybe I care to much, but I don't see that as a bad thing. I love my friends. All of them. I wish I could see them more, go on trips. Do this and that, and oh, I love my friends. They're the greatest. And I really hope they read this. I doubt anybody reads this anymore. Maybe I should say something about drugs to see if I'll get a response. Oh, if you do ever read one of my posts please respond to it somehow. Even if you got nothing to say. And since you don't have blogger it will say anonymous so in the message tell me who u r! Thanks! Gooday!

LONG TIME

Wow, it's been almost 3 months since my last post and sooo much has happened. I have graduated now. That is one of those things that just never seem like it's actually happening. You watch the people go up there and everything, but it seems to big and to important for it to be real. Am I really about to graduate, get my High School Diploma. This thing I've strived for for over 12 years? It's just weird. What else, what else? I went to prom. That was interesting. My date was very uncomfortable the entire time. I think half of it, she didn't wnat to be comfortable (which I don't understand) and the other half was because she didn't know anybody or anything. It would have made anybody a little bit uncomfortable. Plus she's a very independent woman which makes me feel awkward if I try to help her walk with her high heels on, she sorta pushes me away (Ouch). I mean even feminists like guys to hold the door open. That was awkward. Anyways, despite everything I think she did have some fun there toward the end. I think she hates to be seen with me though. Poor David!! OO, I went to Chicago. That was a grand thing. I love Chicago. It's such a pretty city. So much wonderful architecture. I had some of the best food at Benningans or something like that, which I think is a chain because apparently there is one in WV. I thought maybe it was just a nice restaurant in downtown Chicago, because it was, but I guess it's all over. WOOT! What else. My parents, in fact my whole family but me and my sister are going on vacation to some really nice beach house. GRRR! I'm going to King's Island this weekend though. And I'm also going to Europe for two weeks, so beat that. My mom always finds a way to do the same thing though. I got a distinguished on my portfolio which made me exempt from Finals....WHOOHOO! I don't know what I would have done since Mrs. Stacy lost my Calc final and theres no possible way I could have passed the Physics Final! I was exempt from midterms too. It's so great... And now I'm out for good. Except I've still gone back quite a few times since. I've been getting recommendation letters. You really have to stay after these teachers. LOL! Hmm...there is a lot of personal stuff I should vent about, but even though there is only about 5 ppl whoever check this smoothie shop I still don't feel comfortable sharing it right now. I guess that I'll just think about! Umm, what else to say. I'm so lonely. Although right now it doesn't bother me. I want a girlfriend, but I've enver gone for the ones who go for me because yes I'd have a girlfriend but no I don't think I'd enjoy it much. I mean what's the point of having something if you don't want it. But maybe I'll give them a chance. Well, that really depends. I've got one in mind so that works, but all the others I can think of would drive me insane (and thats bad)! Things are so complicated though. I can never date the girl I want. GAH! Where is the easy button when I need it! Peace Out! (I'm so black)! OOK OK, adios. Is that better? I know I'm not spanish, but I say that a lot so just deal with it!